It's the next-to-last episode of Shear Genius, and the four stylists left (out guys Charlie and Daniel, out lesbian Dee, and straight sprite Nicole) have to contend with the most terrifying challenge yet: identical twins.

I have a confession to make ... identical twins creep me out. I think it's because when I was nine, I watched a double feature of The Other and Sisters, and became convinced that my separated identical Siamese twin was purposely trying to get me in trouble.

At first, the stylists don't realize they're going to be working on twins, but they should have known something was up when they were introduced to their clients, who were ... four regular looking young women. Hmmm...

Host Jaclyn Smith introduces guest judge Jose Eber (who's still wearing that same hat from thirty years ago. It must be permanently grafted onto his scalp), and Jaclyn tells the stylists that they'll be required to become "very familiar with their clients" (CLUE#1), and they'll be judged on "how well their style represents what makes their clients unique" (CLUE#2).

The scientific world was stunned when doctors in Denmark successfully cloned Liz and Jean Sagal.

The stylists start, and before they get too comfortable, Jaclyn drops the bomb that they'll also be styling their clients' identical twins, and they need to give each twin her own look.

To up the ante, she also informs them that the winner of this shortcut challenge will earn a place in next week's final, which sends the stylists into fits and shrieks.

Jose judges the cuts, and shockingly, Nicole wins the challenge. It's just a good thing that Jose didn't hear her voice over, in which she repeatedly call him "HO-ZAY" (I know nothing about hair styling, and even I know it's pronounced "JO-ZAY"). That means that Nicole is automatically into the finals, and either Charlie, Daniel, or Dee will be eliminated tonight.

The Tilda Swinton costume is expected to be a big seller this Halloween

The other stylists take Nicole's win in stride, especially Daniel, who says he's glad Nicole is in the finals, because she's the weakest stylist. To be honest, though, I had a hard time concentrating on anything Daniel said, because my gaze was on the huge honking cold sore on his bottom lip. Seriously, this thing looked like Mt. Herpes ready to erupt.

The elimination challenge begins, and the stylists are introduced to guest judge Michael Grecco, who's a "world renowned celebrity photographer" (although the only celebrities they could come up with were Lucy Lui and Steve Martin).

The challenge involves styling a model's hair for a photo shoot based around one of the four seasons. Daniel is assigned summer, Dee is fall, Nicole is winter, and Charlie is spring.

See what happens at the photo shoots, and find out which gay was sent home, after the break.

Team Gay: Glam God edition

Another day, another reality competition, right? Well, this one at least is stocked with gay contestants for us to scrutinize. This Thursday VH1 premieres Glam God with Vivica A. Fox, in which 12 aspiring stylists compete for $100,000, a celebrity spread gig in US Weekly, and representation with a major stlyist agency. I would also say that it earns them the title of "Glam God", but I have a feeling that most of the people competing probably call themselves that already.

Being that styling is a gay-friendly field, it's no surprise that there are three gay men in the group. We don't know too much about the fellas yet, but here are Handry, Bo, and Joachim. Have at 'em.

Stylist Phillip Bloch

The show also features noted out stylist/favorite talking-head Phillip Bloch as one of the judges. As much as he kind of drives me nuts, he can be incredibly funny, so it should make for some fun eliminations.

Side note: Between this (a reality show clearly in the Bravo mold) and The Cho Show (aka Kathy Griffin 2.0), is VH1 finally moving toward more legitimate reality programming and away from Has-beens, Drunks and Pay-Per-View Porn Actors Eating Pig Vaginas in a Rented Mansion? Let's hope so.

Bigger pics of the guys are after the break. Get out your fine-toothed combs and click on through! 

W.C. Fields once famously said "Never work with children or animals". Well, after this episode of Shear Genius, the stylists have now done both.

There are five stylists left: The out steel magnolia Daniel, the out Half Transformed Werewolf™ Paulo, the out bane of my existence Charlie, the out Dee (who I still think is going to win the whole thing), and straight pixie chick Nicole.

Host Jaclyn Smith informs the stylists that for this week's shortcut challenge, they'll only have thirty minutes to give their clients a haircut, and the clients will get to choose which stylist they want to work with. She opens the door, and a swarm of screaming little creatures descend on the stylists, and I swear, the first image that went through my mind was of David Cronenberg's classic The Brood.

Next on FOX: When Dakota Fannings Attack!

Turns out that they're actual, legitimate children, specifically a bunch of six-year-old girls who the stylists will have to cut for their debut in the first grade.

Wait a minute ... styling hair for six-year-olds? Did these people never hear of a little invention that was an integral part of my youth, and that I still gaze on lovingly every time I visit my parent's house? I speak, of course, about The Flowbee.

Sadly, the Jack E. Jett muppet didn't last long on Sesame Street

All kidding aside, these little girls turn out to be cute and adorable. I was a little taken aback when one of the girls said her favorite celebrity was Paris Hilton, then I remembered she was six years old, and probably still had her baby brain cells. I hope she's been told that when she loses one and puts it under her pillow, she'll be visited by the truth fairy, who will explain to her that not every thing that glitters is a prize.

The winner of the shortcut challenge is Daniel, who shamelessly (and hilariously) uses his client to kiss up to Jaclyn. Paulo sees right through it, and in one of my favorite lines of the night, says "That's one way to impress the judges. Next time you see my model, she's going to look like Kim Vo".

Tallulah Bankhead is Bette Davis as Gloria Swanson in George A. Romero's Salon of the Living Dead

Back at the house, the stylists decide to have a little fun at the expense of their eliminated competitors, with an impersonation show. Dee does a great Oshun, and I wish he hadn't been eliminated first, just so I could count how many variations of "I'm Oshun, and I'm deep" we'd be up to by now.

Charlie does a passable Nekisa, but he's really working my last gay nerve on this episode, so nothing he does is anything but an annoyance.

Nicole does a wicked Meredith (with the crazy eyes), but my favorite is Paulo, who does a spot-on Matthew.

In case you don't remember, Matthew was one of the straight stylists, who took every opportunity to remind everyone of his heterosexuality. Especially when he was eliminated, and went on a vaguely disturbing rant about how happy he was to be eliminated, because now he could get back to his wife ... his perfect wife ... his perfect wife who loved him perfectly. It was strange, and creepy, and had a definite Lars and the Real Girl vibe to it.

The next morning, Rene Fris (who I fall more in love with every week) announces "We have a special tweat for each of you. Your clients half seen you at your worze, and now, they want to see you at your bess. Your challen is to update your client's cuwent hairstyle to something they can be wery pwoud of. And then, we'll all go wabbit hunting!"

Okay, he didn't say that last part, and while it may seem that I'm making fun of Rene's fractured accent, I can assure you that I would love nothing more than to hear him whisper sweet nothings in my ear in the mawning.

See what the elimination challenge is, and find out if our gays survived, after the break.

Yes, it's a dog eat dog world, and on this episode of Shear Genius, one of the six remaining stylists (which includes our three out guys Charlie, Paulo, and Daniel) becomes kibble.

But first, host Jaclyn Smith takes yet another opportunity to chastise the stylists for last week's show. When she tells them how bitterly disappointed in them she is for the way they flopped out of the Charlie's Angels challenge, the hurt look on her face reminded me of the lecture I got from my mom when she found out I used up her entire bottle of Oil of Olay body lotion (she asked me what I needed it for, and I said "um...a science experiment for school.")

To further drive the dagger deeper, Jaclyn explains that because of their ineptitude, the "Allure Wall of Fame" will be empty this week, and I think she might have mentioned something about "bamboo under the fingernails". Let it go, Jaclyn.

Sorry, fairy dust doesn't work if the sprinkler is PURE EVIL

The shortcut challenge involves using everyday food products to create "a futuristic look that is beyond belief due to its shape and height". They can only use natural products provided as a styling aid, and as they revealed the products, (which included molasses, honey, egg whites, and mustard) my first thought was "Okay, whoever came up with this has been to way too many Sploshing parties.

Top heavy hottie Nekisa gets to pick first, and as she's picking her "ingredients", she comes across a large jar of anchovies and delivers this zinger "It looks like Charlie's insides...pretty sick".

The challenge gets underway, and giggly sprite Nicole decides to use squid in her client's hair, Daniel uses two round beets (which Charlie says look like "two maroon testicles"), and poor Nekisa...the girl is so out of her league, but she keeps chugging along...uses molasses syrup on her client's head, which ends up running down the sides like she was assaulted by Mrs. Butterworth.

Wait til they find out they have to be refrigerated now

Paulo wins the shortcut challenge, which looked like one of those carnivorous sundew plants (I flinched every time he put his fingers close it). Nicole was the loser, for basically chickening out of using the squid.

Back at the house, tempers are short, and as Daniel points out "Everybody's starting to hate each other. We've got Nekisa hates Nicole, Nicole hates Dee, Dee hates Charlie". Wait a minute, just Dee?

The elimination challenge begins, and the stylists learn that they'll be styling hair for dogs...and their owners.

See how the stylists did, and learn who was eliminated after the break.

It's true. Team Gay bit the dust last night, after the wildly talented and popular Matt Locke made it to the final two in Design Star's third season. The winner was bubbly blonde Jennifer Bertrand, whose artistic way with a paintbrush triumphed over Matt's minimalist design style.

Before I go on — and oh yes, I will be going on — a few words about words.

I believe not just that the world would be a betterplace had Al Gore won the 2000 presidential election, but that in fact, he should have won it. The distinction being that I think his loss was not just unfortunate but the result of an injustice that resulted in the unspeakable hideousness of the last eight years. Are you with me?

So when I say that I was rooting for Matt to become the new Design Star last night, all I'm saying is that I wish he had won, not that I in any way, shape or form think Jenn is the George W. Bush of reality television. As much as I love Matt, I think (and frequently wrote) that Jenn has an amazing on-screen personality. I think she's incredibly cute, too, even though I liked her more with her headbands than the post-makeover Jenn we saw in the finale.

The two faces hairdos of Jenn

No, I like Jenn, and I think she may well have won no matter who was with her in the final two. I'll watch her show. But here's the thing: the winner was chosen not by its panel of judges but a vote by viewers. And I admit to a little worry that some of the vitriolic anti-gay crap that got spewed — and immediately removed, bless HGTV's heart — from theDesign Star message boards might indicate that the pool of voters was not entirely unaffected by the fact that Matt is gay.

I'm going to be speaking with Matt later today — we'll see what he thinks.

There are seven stylists left on Shear Genius, including out guys Charlie, Daniel, and Paulo, and this week's episode involved a very dubious rule change, as well as an appearance from Kate Jackson, one of the original Charlie's Angels.

The two challenges on this episode were guest judged by Kim Vo and Kate — or as I like to call them, Scarecrow and Mrs. King — but Kim's challenge, which involved color, really raised my B.S. meter.

The stylists were instructed to color their client's hair as vividly as possible, which leads to a mini-crisis for top-heavy hottie Nekisa after her sink backs up and won't drain, which of course means Charlie gets to put his two cents in:

"Of course Nekisa has some tired ass excuse about how the sink was backing up and effed up her color, and I was like, somehow I don't think it was the sink."

The sink situation also leads to my second favorite line of the night, courtesy of Paulo:

"I wanted more of a Smurf sort of blue color, and I ended up getting what Papa Smurf s**t all over her head."

taste the rainbow

Kim judges the results, and the winner is Charlie, which infuriates fellow stylist Dee, who came in second place:

"That was some buuuulls**t. I was definitely first on that one, man. I don't know what crack Kim was smoking, but that looked like a fricking drag queen, yo, I'm serious."

I agree. Dee's client looked great, while Charlie's looked like Amy Winehouse stumbling through a paint store.

What's worse, winning this challenge means Charlie is immune from this week's elimination, and will not even have to compete. Okay, wait a minute ... Paulo won last week's "elimination challenge", and was told that unlike every previous show, the elimination immunities were over, and now Charlie gets immunity this week?

I have a feeling the producers might want Charlie to stick around for a while, if only for the drama he causes.

Speaking of drama ... Nekisa comes in last in the first challenge (again), which does not sit well with her, and as they all head back to the house, Daniel is afraid of what awaits:

"I am not ready to go to that house. I mean, it is going to be some sort of Alabama dog fight."

Find out what happens with the Charlie's Angels challenge, and who goes home, after the break.

When we finally have full equality under the law, I promise to be the best post-gay dyke ever to recap a reality competition television show. Until then, I'm all about the gay. Which is my way of encouraging you to do your civic duty and get out the vote for Matt Locke, the out gay designer who is one of two finalists in the third season of HGTV's Design Star.

Matt and Jenn

Fortunately, Matt is both talented and charismatic, so you won't have to sacrifice one principle in favor of another to vote for him. Which hasn't stopped a few of the Neanderthals on the Design Star message boards over at HGTV from mumbling that, since Season One was won by a gay man, David Bromstad (Color Splash), there have already been too many "Cinderfellas" on the network and we don't need another. By which logic -- well, I guess that's not logic -- we've used up our entire allottment with that one show. Which seems fair, and certainly reflects the number of gay men in the design field.

Season One Design Star David Bromstad: Nice guy, nice arms

Matt shares something else with David Bromstad, and with last season's winner, Kim Myles (Myles of Style), too: he's really nice. Being nice is apparently a pre-requisite for winning this show, perhaps because it's the viewers, not the judges, who select the ultimate winner.

Of course, Jennifer Bertrand, who is competing with Matt for the win this season, is also very nice. And so was the final challenge: to give a makeover to two families whose homes were destroyed in Hurricane Katrina. Joining Matt and Jenn in the final challenge were earlier contestants Trish Beaudet and Mike Verdugo, our own sort-of-out-although-he-won't-talk-about-it Mikey V.

Trish and Mikey V come home

The challenge was daunting: a living room, dining room, and kitchen makeover. They had 36 hours, twenty grand plus appliances and flooring, and a team of carpenters to give them a hand. Which is good, because a few things went wrong.

On this week's episode of Shear Genius, we're down to eight stylists, three of whom are out gay men. Daniel, Charlie, and Paulo are the only men left, and the challenges are getting tougher.

This week's "shortcut challenge" is hinted at when the stylists find a bucket o' flip flops in their house, and a note that says "get ready for a hot surprise". My first thought was "Dear God, they're going to style my mother and her menopausal friends!", but the bucket didn't include a collection of colorful muumuus and hand fans, so I knew I was mistaken.

Actually, the stylists are taken to the beach, where Jaclyn Smith (who looks even more incredible windswept) is waiting with this week's Rene Fris wannabe, Oscar Blandi. The challenge is to take their clients and transform their hair after a long day at the beach into a clean, polished look fit for a night out.

Oscar explains that he will be judging their technical skills, creativity, and the "ability to style hair on the harsh condition of the bitch."

That automatically gets him a four out of five on the Rene Scale(tm).

The stylists are introduced to the clients, who are all hot surfer types. Stoked! Oscar informs them that they have "turdy minutes", and the righteous cutting begins.

Daniel, Charlie, and Paulo all have harsh things to say about their fellow stylists, especially the somewhat scatterbrained Nicole, who seems more interested in the hotness of her client than what she was assigned to do (and frankly, I don't blame her). Oscar likes the cut she did, though, and she wins the challenge (and I kid you not, she actually does cartwheels on the beach).

Suddenly I feel the need to hide my pictures of the Pope

This week's elimination challenge provokes a lot of tears and emotions, as all the clients are women who have lost their hair due to Alopacea, which is an auto immune disorder that prevents hair from growing. The stylists will be designing wigs for them to wear, and Paulo breaks down almost immediately, as the enormity of the situation gets to him. Soon, their client's stories and the realization that the stylists can actually make a difference in someone's life opens the floodgates for almost everyone ... well, except Charlie.

Of course. 

See how our out stylists did, who wins and who gets sent packing after the break.

I'll violate the first rule of journalism and give you the ending right at the beginning: Team Gay is goin' to the Design Star finals, kids.

I'm telling you this because without that little tidbit of information, you might not all tune in next week and vote, and that's what it will take to get Matt Locke his own show. Because the judges are done, and now it's up to us.

But first, back to the beginning.

The final three (Trish, Jennifer, and Matt) brought it home this week, literally. They were put on airplanes and flown to their hometowns to do makeovers on their families' houses. Trish made over her parents' living room, Jennifer made over her sister's living room/dining room, and Matt? Well, Matt flew to Colorado Springs, CO, to redesign his mother's craft room.

In my pre-season interview with Matt, he told me his relationship with his mother suffered a serious blow when she found out he was gay, and that HGTV was one of the things that helped bring them together again. There certainly didn't seem to be any lack of affection between them inthis episode, although the craft room was certainly more of a challengethan a more conventional room might have been.

Welcome home, son

Still, as ten seconds on Matt's website would tell you, designing innovative solutions for odd spaces and uses is exactly what he's best at, so I had high hopes for this makever. Hopes that didn't really get anywhere, sadly, since the time constraints on this challenge were so severe it didn't give him an opportunity to design, say, a brilliant wall unit or radical lighting system, which is what this particular room needed.

Matt's mom's craft room, before

One challenge he met with complete success was trying to incorporate his mom's kiln (which looked like a giant metal crockpot) into the room. He built a movable wall that wrapped around it, and used it to mount the ubitquitous plasma TV. Very Matt-esque, and it got lots of praise from the judges. Unlike the big black leather chairs, which were probably both comfortable and practical for the space, but didn't do anything for it visually.

Matt's redesigned craft room for his mom

Jennifer did her usual clever job for her family, turning a badly-laid-out living room/dining room combo into something from, well, an HGTV design show.

Jenn's dazzling after

Trish, who as of last week was the one to beat due to her extraordinarily relaxed and gracious hosting persona, had the tough task of turning her parents' outdated and extremely conventional (the judges said traditional, but they were being kind) living room into something that was, in her words, "Pleasing to my parents, pleasing to the judges, and somewhere finding me in all that."

She completely aced the first, but the second, sadly, not so much. They found her design boring, saying it looked like a furniture showroom.

Find out if Matt made the cut after the break!

Rumours are swirling that two designers from this season of Project Runway will be hooking up on the show.

We first brought it up on on The Heidi Chronicles vlog last week, and now there's lots of speculation from "friends of a friend" of the two designers involved.

Narrowing the choices down is a simple process of elimination. It's not any of the women on the show, otherwise ... this post would probably be on AfterEllen.com. You can cross Jerry off the list, since he was eliminated on the first show. Joe is straight and married, but because he's not a Republican politician, he won't be having a gay affair.

As hard as I stared at Keith's "Magic Eye" covers, nothing popped out.

Of course, there's Keith, but he's spoken for (as the candle in my window can attest to).

Of the five other out designers, I could see any combination of any of them as couples (indeed, with my Project Runway Colorforms set, I've had all of them hook up with each other).

Find out who the rumoured couple is after the break. If it is true, it'll be interesting to see how (or if) the show portrays the relationship.