The airing of the destined-to-be classic A Colbert Christmas - The Greatest Gift Of All made us wistful for those bygone days when the television airwaves would be filled from Thanksgiving to Christmas with the joyous sounds of eggnog-induced insanity courtesy of the most special of entertainment gifts: the holiday variety special.

Join us after the break as we take a trip down memory lane with a look at some of the gayest, campiest, or just plain most indescribable moments from holiday specials of years past. Let's carve up some turkey and ham!

Last night Comedy Central aired what is surely the most insane fever-dream of a yuletide treat since Chewbacca and Bea Arthur got the gang together for the Star Wars Holiday Special back in '78: A Colbert Christmas — The Greatest Gift of All.

Packed with drug jokes, double entendres, celebrity guests — and songs! — the hourlong meditation on all that is wrong with Christmas was utterly unhinged, bafflingly inappropriate and completely magical.

After the jump, catch guest star John Legend (in a park ranger outfit) serenading Colbert about the joys of blowing his sweet brown spice all over someone's face. Yes, that is a euphemism.

The album (original songs by Fountains of Wayne's Adam Schlesinger and David Javerbaum, who also did the music for Broadway's Cry-Baby) is available on iTunes, and it goes without saying that nothing says "stocking stuffer" like the lyrics "The only residue I want you rubbing off your face is my nutmeg". Wow.

IF COMIC STRIPS WERE DRAWN BEFORE A STUDIO AUDIENCE THIS IS WHEN YOU'D HEAR THEM GO 'AWWWWW':
The Concord Monitor recently ran a delightful little autobiographical comic strip by Clay McCuistion about his civil union to his partner, Max. (You can check it out as a JPEG or as a PDF file), "How We Got Gay Married". McCuistion's strip is so mundane, it's adorable.

A panel from "How We Got Gay Married"

Yeah, it did get the expected grumpy readers writing:

One woman said she didn't want to be confronted with "this garbage" and said she would canceled her newspaper subscription. Another said that the cartoon format seemed intended for children - but that the subject matter was inappropriate for kids. A third caller said he had no trouble with gay people but didn't want the issue of civil unions "pushed on me" by his morning newspaper. In a letter to the editor, the minister of a local church accused the newspaper of promoting "sodomy."

I should be a little bothered about the anti-gay crowd getting worked up (or the racist anonymous comment at the end of the article) but McCuistion's comic has me in too happy a mood.

WHEN THINGS ARE BETTER BEHIND THE SCENES:
Gay advocacy group the Human Rights Campaign recently released its 2009 Corporate Equity Index and gaming sites were quick to note that three gaming companies recieved a prefect score -- Microsoft, EA and GameStop. The HRC says their index measures anti-descrimination policies.

However, as comment threads at sites like GayGamer have noted, how does the way a company treat its LGBT employees match up with how they treat their LGBT customers? Microsoft still has gay gamers frustrated with their banning of "gay" as an X-Box Live gamertag, as well as the declaration that identifying yourself as gay is "inappropriate sexual innuendo".

Where do you find the balance? Does seeing Microsoft's employment practices make up at all for any frustration their X-Box Live policies may have created?

METAPHORICALLY, SHE'S STILL WEARING THOSE SATIN TIGHTS:
When she first hit the national radar, pop culture fans were quick to notice the resemblance Gov. Sarah Palin held to a number of celebrities, including TV Wonder Woman, Lynda Carter. Some people have also called Palin a Wonder Woman and it turns out the still-fabulous gay geek icon had a few words to say about that comparison:

Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman

Don’t get me started. She’s the anti-Wonder Woman. She’s judgmental and dictatorial, telling people how they’ve got to live their lives. And a superior religious self-righteousness … that’s just not what Wonder Woman is about... Doesn’t mean that I’m godless. Doesn’t mean that I am a murderer. What I hate is this demonization of everybody but one position. You’re un-American because you’re against the war. It’s such bullshit. Fear. It’s really such a finite way of thinking about God to think that your measley little mind can know the mind of God. It’s a very little God that way. I think that God’s bigger. I don’t presume to know his mind. Or her mind.

Let me join Dorthy Snarker in swooning... though, I guess we're swooning for different reasons.

And going on a nerd tangent, am I the only one who sees those signs calling Palin "Superwoman" and gets nostalgic for time-traveling superhero historian Kristen Wells? Yeah, I figured it was just me. Y'know I don't think Marvel would let a trademark like that laspe...

Sigh, not that Superwoman...

Speaking of the Amazon Princess, MTV's Splash Page blog asked if we'll ever see a Wonder Woman movie.

Sadly, it sounds like we're as likely to see Emma Peel return to the big screen just as soon as we see Diana, with producers Leonard Goldberg and Joel Silver lamenting a lack of good ideas, even when Joss Whedon was attached to the project. That seems a shame, considering Wonder Woman's iconic nature... is there another superhero who appears on so much merchandise without appearing on the big or small screen?

AFTER THE BREAK: Best. Rock Band addition ever and nostalgia for the adventure game

It's a question that has caused endless speculation for philosophers and scientists for eons. Now, a new study from Tufts University claims that Gaydar is real, and they have the, um ... evidence ... to back up that claim.

"For the study, 15 undergraduate students, both male and female, were shown photos of faces of 90 men, evenly divided between gay and straight. The photos were taken from Internet personal ads and from Facebook. The study's lead author, graduate student Nicholas Rule, says men were used in this study for convenience, because they have a greater presence on the Internet than women.

The researchers found that subjects could accurately determine in 50 milliseconds — one-twentieth of a second — whether the men were gay or straight about 60 percent of the time. Rule says all the subjects were accurate 55 percent to 70 percent of the time.

When subjects were allowed to look at the photos for up to 10 seconds, they weren't much better at judging sexual orientation than in 50 milliseconds. But when subjects had only 33 milliseconds to consider each photo, their judgments were significantly less accurate."

Okay, where to begin? First, I had to check the date to make sure I hadn't entered a time warp and ended up back on April 1st. Then, I was convinced this came from The Onion or another satirical website ... but it's not.

Facebook? Internet personal ads? Fifteen undergraduate students (who were probably hungover from Beer Pong the night before)?

"Their judgments were significantly less accurate at thirty three milliseconds?" Really, Professor Obvious? You mean they couldn't tell whether a flash of a blob in a picture was gay? Well, that's ... significant, isn't it?

This bogus (but hilarious) research aside, someone actually has invented a real gaydar device, as this classic clip from The Daily Show proves. You can see it after the break, and I think I'm going to go scope out that cute cashier at Subway, and hopefully I'll have my answer in fifty milliseconds.

Mark Cornelsen and T.R. Knight look smart at Get Smart

In a continued effort to bring you all that is important in the world of gay entertainment and ensure that you are being spoon-fed images of gorgeous, commoditized manflesh, we present the newly-minted AfterElton Briefs. Following the usual assortment of carefully-selected news items, interested readers can find a refreshing pic of a hot man in underwear after the jump. Yes, we're serious.

• Access Hollywood caught up with T.R. Knight last night (at the Get Smart premiere with boyfriend Mark Cornelsen), and got his thoughts on the historic day in California marriage history.

• Here's a clip of out hottiepants Cheyenne Jackson being interviewed at the Tonys red carpet!

• Groomer Rumor has it that Queer Eye vet Jai Rodriguez will be playing Desi Arnaz in a West Hollywood production of the musical Dance With Me (which tells the love story of Desi and Lucille Ball) in July.

• One of our greatest (and funniest) straight allies, Stephen Colbert, was awarded another Peabody Award last night. Keep 'em comin'! Other recipients included 30 Rock, Dexter, Mad Men, and Project Runway.

• Hey, remember that unsavory TiVo/Focus on the Family collaboration that we wrote about last week? Looks like FoF has pulled the TiVo logo from their ads. Nice!

• Neil Patrick Harris and Michael Urie (as gay assistant Marc St. James on Ugly Betty) are amongst the nominees for this year's Teen Choice Awards. For the full list go on over here ... I'm sorry, I love Jake Gyllenhaal as much as the next guy, but is there anyone who qualifies as a "teen" who has even heard of Rendition?

And today's Briefs are brought to you by...

• No more Heroes: Origins:
  So, NBC announced its TV schedule for the next year and, unfortunately, there wasn't anything really gay on the schedule. (Our sister site has reasons to be hopeful for Knight Rider, however.) One bit of bad news is that the Heroes spin-off, Origins, is dead. I was looking forward to the spin-off, which had recruited some big names to direct episodes, including Kevin Smith, who said he'd like his episode to introduce two gay heroes. That leaves us back to hoping the regular Heroes team will eventually see a gay character, which means my cynical side is doing a "Told you so" dance.
  
  

• Titans Together!:
  I missed this announcement the first time around, but apparently there's also a Teen Titans movie in the works, which will take inspiration from the classic version Marv Wolfman and George Perez gave us, which certainly had its share of gay fans. As much as I loved the animated Titans, it'll be interesting to see an adaptation that could look at the darker side of those characters. Hm, so many story possibilities just from the early issues ... and any chance of seeing Debra Winger make a cameo appearance?
  
  

• Cylons, the way they were:
  Tonight Battlestar Galactica returns, but I'm also getting excited about the upcoming spin-off, Caprica, which promises to be a sci-fi soap. It turns out the prequel series will explore the origins of the Cylons. I was initially feeling a bit cautious about this spin-off but the more I hear the more I want to see Caprica ... how about you BSG fans?
  
  

• Good news for It-getters, bad news for Lady Nocturne:
  Fans who share Stephen Colbert's comic book geekiness have been a little bit frustrated with how slow the Tek Jansen comics have been coming from Oni Press. Some good news came in today for fans of Colbert's Gary Stu: the series is back on schedule, with the second issue coming out in late June. (June? I'm going to be waiting forever for that collection, aren't I?)
  
  

• I think the real question is "Why is there a Pussycat Dolls reference in a fantasy MMO?"
  Considering World of Warcraft's history with gay characters, I was feeling wary when I heard about a discussion asking "Has Blizzard gone out of their way to make male elves gay?" However, the discussion sounds pretty positive, asking if Blizzard is playing to gay stereotypes in order to make a cheap, gay joke. I haven't really taken the time to get to know WoW, so I'm pretty curious to hear from any AfterElton readers who play it: do male elves' emotes encourage homophobic humor or is it all a matter that should be handled by GMs? Still, I did enjoy this bit of WoW machinima:

• Young Heroes in Love, Marvel edition:
  Yesterday, I gave my reaction to Young Avengers Presents #3, where the young romance of Hulking and Wiccan took another small step forward (an encouraging sign considering how much disappointment gay superhero readers have faced). Here's another take, with an interesting discussion in the comments. I can understand the worry that if the relationship isn't made clear, it'll be retconned away eventually, but I think the relationship has been pretty solidly established. In this case, I'm not worried about seeing another gay couple like the Legion's Lyle and Condo.
  
  

My love for Stephen Colbert is well-documented. My love for R.E.M., not so much ... probably because I'm not really a big fan. But try and tell me that this clip from Wednesday's Colbert Report, which features Colbert's insano-pundit alter-ego interviewing the rockers from atop an enormous stool and using their new record to cover his junk, isn't one of the best band interviews ever. And don't miss out frontman Michael Stipe's winking responses to the questions about writing songs about girls...

• Post-apocalyptic wishes and radioactive dreams:
  One of this year's most anticipated games is Fallout 3, the follow-up to what's seen as one of the best and most innovative role playing games. Those eager Fallout fans got some exciting news this week. Not only is the game done (with bugs to fix) the game promises to be huge -- with some 200 possible endings. Wow. Now if only someone could tell me if the game has any same-sex couples, as Fallout 2 did...
  
  
• Welcome to the Dollhouse, Helo:
  Before the Writers' Guild went on strike, we were pretty excited over the news of a new Joss Whedon series. Now that Hollywood has gone back to work, they've begun casting the roles not played by Eliza Dushku. Battlestar Galactica hottie Tahmoh Penikett will be playng Dushku's romantic foil. Nice...

  

  Maybe it's just the articles I read, but I haven't seen the usual talk of "We can work around his Battlestar Galactica commitments." Hurm, I wonder...
  
  
• I'd buy a record from a group called Doctor and the Three Companions:
  Oh, goody, the series four Doctor Who trailer hit the web this week. Check it out. I know this isn't a common opinion, but I'm looking forward to seeing the return of Donna. I like the idea of an everywoman companion who isn't immediately wowed by everything The Doctor does and the promise of a big companion meet-up is pretty exciting, as well. (Though why not throw Mickey into that mix, as well? And weren't we already promised that Captain Jack would be a part of the mix?) The fourth season arrives in the USA on the Sci-Fi Channel April 18, starting with the "Voyage of the Damned" special which co-stars dance diva Kylie Minogue.
  
  
• Look who's honoring him now:
  Four years ago, indie game developer Stardock introduced a strategy based around presidential politics, The Political Machine. The game was simple, but fun. It was like something you'd expect to play during a social studies class with the cool teacher. (So calling all you Oregon Trail fans...)
  
  This week, the publisher announced it would be coming out with a new 2008 edition. Here's what I find amusing: Four years ago the screenshot for the media screen showed a pundit looking a lot like Bill O'Reilly. This time, their media screen looks like:

  

  Notice the portrait in the corner? Heh.
  
  

Happy Birthday, John Barrowman!

In a continued effort to bring you all that is important in the world of gay entertainment and ensure that you are being spoon-fed images of gorgeous, commoditized manflesh, we present the newly-minted AfterElton Briefs. Following the usual assortment of carefully-selected news items, interested readers can find a refreshing pic of a hot man in underwear after the jump. Yes, we're serious.

• Gus van Sant's Sean-Penn-starring Milk wrapped shooting in San Francisco this past weekend, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt a few different handfuls of snaps. Anyone else think it looks like Cruising without the Crisco?

• Exactly how many times did Neil Patrick Harris say "vagina" during the Q&A for Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay at SXSW? And while we're on the subject, the pic got a near rave from Variety, who called it "one of the ballsiest comedies to come out of Hollywood in a long time."

• J.K. Rowling again expressed her shock that anyone would be bothered by Hogwarts headmaster Albus Dumbledore's being gay, adding, "I think homophobia is a fear of people loving, more than it is of the sexual act."

• Stephen Colbert spun comedy gold out of the Governor Eliot Spitzer scandal (notice how no one is calling it a "Straight Sex Scandal!"), including noting that his "whoredar" failed him and that he is the prostitute who engaged Spitzer, but that most of his $4300 hourly fee went to his pimp, Jon Stewart.

• Twittering from SXSW, Whitney from Popcandy had this to say about the new comedy Forgetting Sarah Marshall (which stars Veronica Mars' Kristin Bell and How I Met Your Mother's Jason Segel): "It was funny throughout with repeated full-frontal male nudity and awesome puppet vampires!" Finally, someone has made a film out of my ongoing inner monologue.

And today's Briefs are brought to you by...