It's the season finale of True Blood, and it gives us everything we were hoping for and more.

Join us after the break for all the shocking details, including what will no doubt be a much-debated cliffhanger!

Sookie and Sam grow closer, Bill is a new daddy, Tara meets the freaky pig lady again (sans pig), Jason runs around in rain-soaked tighty whities ... and we learn the identity of the killer, who strikes again!

It's the next-to-last episode of True Blood and you can see all the craziness after the break!

Bill goes before The Legion of Doom, Tara tries to purge the devil inside, Jason has his hands full with Eddie, and Sookie learns why Sam is always trying to lick himself. Because he can! See it all after the break!

Photo: Prashant Gupta/HBO

At the end of last week's episode of True Blood, Sookie found herself on the receiving end of some unwanted vampire attention when bartender LongShadow attacked her for discovering the truth about his sticky fingers.

Will Bill break the ultimate vampire code to save her? And what about Eddie, the suburban vampire kidnapped by Jason and the increasingly monstrous Amy? Will he live long enough to watch the next episode of Heroes? And does Tara really have a demon inside her or is it just PMS? And will the women who read this ever forgive me for that last line?

These questions, and many others will be answered ... after the break!

On this week's episode of True Blood, we learn if Bill was in one of the caskets that was fricasseed last week, if Tara's mother has successfully exorcised Jose Cuervo, and whether vampire grand high poobah Eric will become the latest male cast member to doff his clothes!

Join us after the break for the bare facts!

This week's episode of True Blood opens with Sookie standing over the stiff, bloody corpse of her Gran...who's dead.*

Before she can react, Bill rushes in to hold and comfort her, but we then see an animal-eye view of something creeping up the steps and approaching the door. Whatever it is lets out a soft growl, and Bill goes into switchfang mode. Oh, but wait, it's just Sam coming to check on Sookie!

Okay, sometime soon the show is going to have to either confirm our suspicions about Sam, or stop teasing us.

*And why is it that all of these people walk around barefoot? They're just asking to step on a rusty nail, or possum poop, or the blood-soaked remains of their elderly kin.

After the credits, Sam tries to console Sookie, but she's too preoccupied with trying to block out the thoughts of Sheriff Bud and Andy, who have arrived to investigate along with the Coroner, and that strange little coroner's assistant.

Sitting on the porch, Sam tries to get up the nerve to finally say "Ry Rove Ru", but Sookie isn't having it, and asks him to "fetch" Bill for her. Sam and Bill have a medium-hot measuring contest about who's better for her, and Bill tells him that this isn't the time for Sam to "mark his territory". Okay, okay ... we get it.

Sam Trammell, Anna Paquin

Back in the kitchen with Gran, the good ole boys are conversing about who could have done it, and Andy suspects Jason, while Bud thinks that Gran's association with Bill might have ruffled a few feathers around town. They try to get under Bill's skin by suggesting that Gran, Maudette, and Dawn all had one thing in common ... they were all "vampire friendly", and are shocked to hear that Bill agrees. Bill believes that all three were targeted because of their association with vamps, but Gran wasn't the intended target ... Sookie was.

As they're bringing Gran's body out of the house, Sookie "reads" that the coroner's assistant was actually one of the goth guys at the vampire bar (which we've known for a couple of episodes), and she asks the sheriff if it's okay for her to clean up the kitchen. Silly old Gran left a mess, what with a sink full of dirty dishes, a bag of trash needing to be taken out, and a few gallons of blood coagulating on the floor.

After the police leave, Bill has to reluctantly make his exit as well, since dawn is coming (not the murdered girl, but the actual dawn), and leaves Sookie with Sam. She asks him to help her clean up, and says something to the effect of "Gran would want us to clean up her blood, and also check on the pot roast she had in the oven".

At Gran's wake the next morning, the door opens, and we get a POV shot of a tuna cheese casserole floating into the house. My first thought was "Wow, Sam is one hell of a shapeshifter!", then we see that Sam was the one who opened the door. Turns out it was brought in by Hoyt's mother, who I guess is officially the town snoop.

Rutina Wesley, Nelsan Ellis, Anna Paquin

As people make their way in to pay their respects, Sookie finds that she can't concentrate well enough to block out anyone's thoughts, and soon all of the voices drive her to have a public mini-breakdown involving one of Gran's pecan pies. The only way this scene could have been better would be if she had thrown the pie on the floor and, through clenched fists, shouted "Damn, Damn, Damn!" ala Florida on Good Times.

Tara and Lafayette take her upstairs, and they have a great scene together, as they convince her to forget about the circling buzzards downstairs. Lafayette gives her a valium "just in case", and Sookie tells Tara that she doesn't know how she would have gotten through all of this without Bill.

Meanwhile, Jason shows up for work at the road crew site, and meets up with the bewildered Hoyt and Rene. They realize that he has no idea what's happened, and have to break the news to him (Sookie tried to contact him the night before, but he and his naked buns were passed out with a female pair of naked buns ... seriously, that's all we see ... and he ended up throwing his cell phone through a window).

How will Bill console Sookie? Will we find out who's been murdering people? And what does Jason do that pretty much kills my big pants for him? Find out after the break!

This week's episode of HBO's True Blood takes a breather from the non-stop insane action of the last few weeks, and is more character-driven, but it does feature a shocking finale.

We open with Bill having arrived at Sookie's house with the young lady none too pleased with how the night went, and is even more peeved with Bill's choice of driving music. She calls it "crazy Chinese gargling", but he helpfully explains that it's "Tuvan throat singing" Oh, that's a relief. I was positive the Budweiser frogs had taken V blood and transformed into ... horny toads. (I'm sorry.)

That's just the last straw for Sookie, though, who realizes that she and Bill have nothing in common, and the fact that he might have killed that cop who pulled them over if she hadn't been there seals it for her. He tries to tell her that he's trying his best to "mainstream", but she isn't impressed, and they mutually decide that it might be best not to date anymore.

And through all of this ... that mysterious dog keeps a watchful eye.

After the credits, someone starts banging on Lafayette's door, and when he opens it, Tara storms in, furious that he sold V blood to Jason, and worried that Lafayette is getting in over his head.

He promises to make thing right with Jason, but they need to make things right with me for the next scene. Lafayette heads over to Jason's house to make amends, and Jason explains what happened at the hospital, using the visual aid of a sharp meat thermometer injected into a sausage. As Lafayette cringes at the thought, Jason also explains that he to endure it without the aid of "Anastasia" (I guess watching kids' movies helps dull the pain when you get your penis drained).

Ryan Kwanten

Lafayette tells Jason that what he needs is a little hair of the vampire that bit him, and if he does V blood the right way, it can open up wonders he never thought possible (he also lets it slip that Tara has had the the hots for him for years).

They sit down with Lafayettes's magic bag (which actually looks like a fishing tackle) and he puts a single drop of V on a small paper towel square, and explains that it's a drop from a "new" vampire, and is "pure undiluted 24 karat life", and goes on about letting it "soak in" and "carry you away", and that if Jason consumes it, he'll see the world with different eyes.

All this time, Jason is enraptured, and Ryan Kwanten is hilarious in these scenes, as he looks like a six-year-old seeing a magician for the first time. He takes the drop, and laments that he can't believe he's doing this again.

Sookie is at work (having just come from her gran's house, who unbeknownst to her has been getting threatening phone calls about letting Bill speak at her civil war club), and is shocked and bemused when Sam asks her to accompany him that night to hear Bill speak.

She accepts his invitation, but is distracted by detective Andy, who tries to trick her into revealing info about Jason. He mentions that Tara and Jason are a couple, which sends her into a fit of giggles, and confirms his suspicion that Tara made up that alibi about she and Jason being together.

She reads his thoughts and realizes he's telling the truth, and when Tara comes in, confronts her in the ladies' room. Tara admits to giving Jason an alibi, and when Sookie tries to probe her thoughts for more info, we get my favorite scene in the episode. All that Sookie can hear when she tries to "read" Tara is a bunch of gibberish. Obviously, Tara knew what was coming, and tried the mental equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and shouting "LaLaLa I can't hear you! LaLaLa". I've seen lots of shows about mind readers, and I've been patiently waiting for that scene for ages.

Rutina Wesley

Later that night, it's time for the meeting of the "Descendants of the Glorious Dead", which is being held at a local church. Helping with the set-up is Hoyt and his mother. (And you guys can keep your Bill, Sam, and Eric ... I'll take the strapping Hoyt. I guess, like Julie Brown, I like 'em big and stupid.)

Hoyt and his mama are having troubles with the giant golden cross next to the stage where Bill is supposed to speak. She wants to take it down lest Bill "sizzles up like fat back bacon", but they can't take it down, and end up throwing an American flag over it.

Will Bill sizzle up like fat back bacon? Will Sookie and Sam take it to the next level? And what about that absolutely SHOCKING ending? Find out what happens after the break!

Kevin (Matthew Rhys) parts with one of his dolls in the October 19th episode of Brothers & Sisters

Following this assortment of carefully-selected news items, interested readers can find a refreshing pic of a hot man in underwear after the jump. Yes, we're serious.

• In today's non-news, Miley Cyrus has reportedly asked that Disneyland be closed for her big birthday party this weekend, leading some hysterical pubs to announce that she's "leaving the gay community out in the cold", as that is part of Disney Gay Days weekend. Never mind that the gays are scheduled to be at a different park that day or that it's pretty hard to leave anyone "out in the cold" in Southern California.

• Alan Ball has a few movie ideas in mind once he's got Season 2 of True Blood written: one's a 1930's screwball comedy and another's a feminist horror comedy "with a body count". Hey, why not do both together? He could call it Adam's Ribs!

• Swingtown, which had its share of fans here, will be heading to Bravo for an exclusive full-series run. The show did get pretty gay-inclusive by the end, and let's face it, what's not to love about some syndicated Tom and Trina Decker?

• Above, from our sibs at 365Gay.com: A report on the recent deposition of an Episcopal Bishop who tried to split the Church after it appointed its first openly gay Bishop.

• Now that Xanadu on Broadway has closed (pauses to wipe away tear), out badunka-hunk Cheyenne Jackson is moving on to other projects, including playing the lead in George Bernard Shaw's The Shewing-Up of Blanco Posnet, a wild west melodrama being mounted as a part of The Project Shaw. Let's hope there are chaps involved.

• Chace Crawford, Ed Westwick and Penn Badgley (all of Gossip Girl) appear on the cover of this month's Details and inside they mourn the media obsession with their sexualities. I may be more inclined to take the discussion seriously were it not sharing front-page space with the headline "Do You Have Douchebag Hair?".

And today's Briefs are brought to you by...

A unique little film opens this week in NYC and LA that is definitely worth checking out if you're in either city and are looking for a reprieve from the junk cramming the multiplexes lately. Winner of the Berlin Film Festival's Teddy Award (Best Gay and Lesbian Film), The Amazing Truth About Queen Raquela is a brisk and colorful half-documentary, half-fairytale that follows a Filipino "ladyboy" named Raquela Rios as she looks for love and a better life.

Raquela, a transgender prostitute in her home country, eventually turns to Internet porn to make the money she needs to escape to a better life ... in Iceland. Will her online romance with an American porn mogul lead to her dream of moving to Paris? 

Raquela Rios as herself

I saw Raquela recently and while I found it a bit troubling, its quasi-documentary approach and its subject are fascinating, and the film has stuck with me. If you want to learn more, check out the trailer after the jump.

Also opening this weekend are two films that aren't in-and-of themselves gay, but that come from two of our most acclaimed gay creatives. Choke, based on the cheerfully disgusting novel by gay author Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club), stars Sam Rockwell as a sex addict who fakes choking bouts in fancy restaurants to guilt people into supporting him financially. And that's just the beginning. Word is the film version (adapted and directed by Old Christine cutie Clark Gregg, of all people!) is madcap fun ... but if it remains true to the novel, get ready for some serious gross-out moments.

And then there's Towelhead, the troubled directorial debut of Alan Ball (Six Feet Under, American Beauty, True Blood), which debuted years ago as Nothing Is Private before going back underground for some retooling and a new title (taken from the novel on which it is based). The story of a young Arab-American girl's sexual awakening (partly at the hands of an adult neighbor, played by Aaron Eckhart) is reportedly at turns shockingly funny and deeply disturbing. Gay-fave Toni Collette (Muriel's Wedding) also appears as another neighbor. 

After watching the third episode of the HBO series True Blood, I've come to the conclusion that Ryan Kwanten's body deserves special consideration at next year's Emmy awards, and that Alan Ball has presented us with one of the most vampire-batcrap insane hours ever seen on TV.

We start off where we left last week, with Sookie paying a visit to her bloodsucking paramour, Bill, only to be confronted at his door by the Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living, And Became Effed Up Vampires.

There are three of them, sort of a Mod Squad: Vampire Edition (one white, one black ...one bald). There's Diane, who wears a gold lame dress and a wig stolen from Chaka Khan circa Through The Fire, Malcolm, whose head keeps distracting me (he looks like he overdosed on Ronco's Spray-On Hair ... seriously, I kept expecting Ron Popeil to come on screen to give the toll free number), and finally, there's Liam, who does things with his tongue that would make my lesbian friends reconsider their options.

They try to "glamour" Sookie (as you recall, it's sort of a vampire hypnosis), but are taken aback when she informs them that she's immune to it. Bill invites her in, and the trio reluctantly let her pass, but they can't help but be drawn to her "virgin blood", and as Diane attempts to bite her neck, Bill jumps and and proclaims "Stop! Sookie is mine!"

After the credits (and the cashier at Dollar General still won't look me in the eye after she heard me singing to myself "I wanna do bad things with you"), the trio toss Sookie aside as Bill establishes that she's there for him, and no one else. They're fine with it, because they already have a couple of "distractions" of their own: a haggard looking skank who, um, helps relieve Liam of tension, and a gorgeous slab of beefcake in cut-offs named Jerry.

It took me a few minutes, but then I realized that Jerry was played by Nicholas Gonzalez, who starred in the series Resurrection Blvd. and one of those Anaconda movies, but is best known to me for posing starkers for photographer Greg Gorman.

Nicholas Gonzalez

Malcolm makes a bee-line for Jerry, who is his personal blood bank, but when he sees that Bill is hungry, offers up the young hunk for him to feast on. Bill is about to chow down when Sookie reads Jerry's thoughts and realizes it's a trap. Jerry has "Hepatitis D" and intends to spread it around to as many vampires as he can in retribution for the death of someone named Marcus (who I gather was his boyfriend). Hepatitis D is the only blood-borne pathogen to which vampires are susceptible (it weakens them and makes them easier to stake), and when Sookie spills the beans, it's curtains for poor Jerry.

The trio hits the road (with the soon to be late Jerry and the mute skank in tow), and Bill tries to explain things to Sookie. He admits to having had a one night stand with Diane decades ago, which Sookie finds disgusting, and Bill explains that the reason the trio is so evil is because the three of them live in a "nest". According to Bill, "when vampires nest together, they become more cruel and vicious. They become laws unto themselves". Hmm ... sounds like The Surreal Life.

Bill explains that he's nothing like them, but Sookie is too skeeved out to even accept a good night kiss from him, and leaves Bill alone to suffer from Blue Blood.

Back at Merlotte's, Tara and Sam are lamenting the fact the Bill and Sookie seem to be growing closer, and Tara gets Sam to admit that he's got a "bone" for Sookie, but Tara tells him he's "barking up the wrong tree", because Sookie can't read Bill's thoughts, and that's the kind of man she's been looking for all her life.

Meanwhile, Dawn returns home, expecting to find Jason still tied to the bedpost, but is attacked in the bedroom by a mysterious figure wearing a kimono, stocking cap, and Playtex Living Gloves. He throws her on the bed as she screams in terror, but soon realizes that it's just Jason playing his favorite game, "Vampire Rapist". Jason, you're such a hoot!

Sookie arrives home to find Bill waiting on her steps (I guess her Gremlin is no match for his super speed walking ability) and she wants to know why she can't read his thoughts. We then get a vampire biology lesson, as Bill explains that he doesn't have brain waves, electrical impulses in his body, pulse, or heartbeat (so he's ... Joan Rivers?). Sookie says they should stop seeing each other, because she's been almost been killed twice in three days because of him, but Bill tells her "you'll never find a human male you can be yourself with". I don't think that's true. If Anna Nicole Smith was able to marry a man with no pulse or heartbeat, then Sookie should have no problem, either.

Will Bill and Sookie reconcile? Will Jason and Dawn move over to their second favorite game, "Terrorist Hostage"? And why does Lafayette have a Republican state senator in his bedroom? Find out after the break!