The Week in Film: Bateman and Bullock, battlin' John Greyson, and the hottest new trailers

Sandra Bullock: Is it a bad thing we're opening Labor Day Weekend?
Bradley Cooper: Whatever. It's not like we were ever an Oscar contender.

An editor of mine recently observed how odd it is that Memorial Day weekend is such a big-deal launching pad for summer movies while the three-day Labor Day holiday is generally where the mediocre (and the downright awful) go to die.

Let it be known that 2009 doesn't deviate from that formula with this weekend's big nationwide releases.

If you thought Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and The Ugly Truth were as witless and inane as movies were going to get this summer, you clearly haven't seen All About Steve, a ramshackle rom-com so blisteringly stupid and off-the-rails that you find yourself wondering if anyone in the production has ever met a human being.

Sandra Bullock (who also produced, so she can't blame anyone else) stars as Mary Magdalene Horowitz, a crossword puzzle creator whose wealth of knowledge — and her inability to stop yapping about it — tends to keep men at a distance.

At one point Mary literally lunges for TV news cameraman Steve (Bradley Cooper) after they meet on a blind date, and before long she's hounding him from disaster to disaster. Including, apparently, the premiere of All About Steve.

You can't believe just how awful this laugh-less comedy is but trust me, do not see for yourself.  Seriously, I suspect the mid-'90s porn movie of the same name features a better script.