Gay TV Recap: Calling all Superheroes

Yes, this recaplet of last Thursday's Who Wants to Be a Superhero? is way late, but it was kind of bumped back due to a little thing called The Kiss Heard Round the World (and the lady in the Malt-o-Meal) on Friday.

But if you missed it, the increasingly camp reality competition had its gayest episode yet last week, as out hero Parthenon kicked ass and took names (or at least sweat-pants) at Universal Studios, where the costumed combatants had to literally talk complete strangers out of their clothing. Here's how it went down...

The heroes, remember, had returned to their lair after the double-elimination to find that their secret identities and — GASP — Stan! Lee's! Pencil! had been stolen by someone, likely the evil, shag-throw-loving Doctor Black Party. Defuser of course kicks into full-on Vin Diesel in The Pacifier mode, treating the rest of the heroes like a scrappy bunch of PG-movie kids and a wayward duck as he tries to maintain order.

They soon get a message that they'll be trying to intercept the passoff of the stolen materials — which also included a $50,000 check for a charity — with the assistance of the pink-haired cartoon from the esurance commercials. No word on whether they'll be able to file claims on their stolen identities with Pinky if they fail.

The heroes essentially have to talk three strangers out of three articles of clothing in order to assume a fake identity and ambush the handoff. Because, you know, no one will suspect the guy being followed by a camera crew so long as he's not wearing tights, right? They have to procure a shirt, pants, and shoes from three different people in the park.

This of course isn't the easiest thing to do, but Parthenon cleans up when he finds a group of ladies who are powerless to resist his sassy brand of superhero charm. Is it just me, or is Parth walking with a little more spring in his step these days? Looks like someone added a little extra sugar to his Tang this morning.

Parthenon intercepts the villain and saves the day, and their secret identities are safe and the check will go to the charity and esurance will collect its impressions from the 17 people besides me who actually watch this show (none of whom have cars to insure ... oops!). They get back to the lair and Parthenon is told that as a reward for winning the challenge, he'll get to call home and be allowed to select another fellow hero to receive the same treat.

In order to facilitate this, the producers actually force Parthenon to mini-interview the other heroes to see who best deserves the phone call ... it's sort of like speed dating in Spandex and capes. Whip Snap notably bows out in order to give someone more deserving the chance (since, as we've heard her say about 1000 times now, she has no one and nothing to return to once the show is over, which is starting to make everyone else a little uncomfortable at this point), which is really a very cool move. Parthenon ultimately picks Hygena, who has a family and who we knew from our interview with Dan that he really liked while filming, so it's no shocker to anyone but Defuser, who looks like someone just drowned a puppy in front of him when Parthenon announces his choice.

Now, the show has made no bones to this point about Parthenon being gay, and has mentioned it (or rather, allowed him to mention it) several times. But it was still wonderful to have several minutes devoted to Dan calling his partner Derek at home, which is treated just the same as when Hygena calls her husband. Nice.

After this the heroes go into elimination, and despite the fact that I love Basura for somehow managing to undersell everything while dressed like a fetish stripper, I can't really argue when they send her home. In fact, the real shocker is in seeing her back in her civvies after she turns in her costume: no joke, she's a shoo-in for the lead in a community theatre staged production of Ugly Betty. I wonder if all her artist friends had any idea she was such a hottie under that Raggedy Ann getup? Lamp, meet bushel.

At the very end we see that Doctor Black Party still has Stan's pencil (tune in next week as the heroes have to escort Stan to ... GASP ... OFFICE DEPOT!) and he's going to do something untoward with it (no idea what), which reminds us that Parthenon was the only hero to notice that the pencil was still missing in the first place.

In the preview for this week's ep, we see that the heroes are made to deal with snakes and rats and spiders and such, and it's at least edited to look like Parthenon gets a round spanking for being a big girl in the face of creepy-crawlies, which would be a real disappointment. Not in Parthenon (because let's face it, those things are nasty), but in the show for falling back on the old "femininity is not heroic" chestnut. Erg.

Tune in Thursday to see!