Today on As the World Turns, Alison finds a drunken Luke on the street clutching his side. Either his one remaining kidney is giving him trouble, or Thanksgiving's Hubbard squash was as indigestible as it looked.

Alison promises not to tell his parents, but only if Luke accompanies her to the hospital where she and Casey try to get him checked out by an intern. While there, they narrowly miss running into Lily and Lucinda. Instead, they get discovered by Brian Wheatley, who insists Luke go through with the exam and them gives him the key to his hotel room so Luke can go sleep off his latest drunk.

Big mistake on Wheatley's part. Once there, Luke starts snooping around for dirt on his step-grandfather.  Want to know what he finds? Check out today's video clip.

"Puhleeze! If he's gonna make the moves on anyone it would be me!"

Today on As the World Turns, Luke freaks out when he discovers that Brian Wheatley & Lucinda are moving in to Lily's house — meaning they are all going to be under the same roof! In a rare sober moment, he heads over to Java to confide in Noah. When he drops his bombshell that Wheatley made a pass at him Noah has difficulty believing it. Will Noah give his former boyfriend the benefit of the doubt, and if not, will Luke use it as an excuse to go on another bender?

Find out more in today's Nuke video clip after the break!

The Snyder clan is celebrating Thanksgiving out at the farm, and you know what that means! Grandma Emma is peddling that damn hubbard squash again.  Luke is in a funk because ... well ... you name it. No boyfriend, no college, and no one in the family has picked up on the fact that he's stumbling around drunk.

Holden at least notices that his son is miserable and convinces Noah to join them for Thanksgiving dinner thinking that will cheer his son up.  Also attending are Lucinda and her new husband, Brian "Stolen Gay Kisses" Wheatley.  

What with Luke's clandestine boozing, his pining for Noah, and his fury at Wheatley, I think the Snyders better put away the saw they used to split that hubbard squash!

Find out what happens in today's Nuke clip after the break.

Note, we received a number of complaints about yesterday's pithy ATWT video clip post title: "Frenching Step-Grandpappy." People felt like it gave away the big twist ending involving Wheatley and Luke. Sorry about that. We wrongly assumed that the cat was already out of the bag on that one.

Today we're going to be really careful and not reveal any plot points to those who want to be completely surprised by the video clip itself. With that in mind, here's a carefully redacted synopsis...

In this episode of ___________________________, our young hero _______ wakes up with a terrible _________ and vaguely recalls being inappropriately __________ by ___________.

When he goes to the hospital to check on his _________ he discovers that _______ and _______ are __________.

Feel free to fill in the makeshift mad lib above via the comments section. If you want to find out what really happened, check out the video clip after the break!

Great news! According to a documentary now being peddled by the American Family Association, us homosexuals have managed to infiltrate the quaint little town of Eureka Springs, Arkansas — turning it into a literal hotbed of homosexual activity by getting homo-sympathizers elected to its city council, sponsoring an annual pride event, and permitting (non-legally binding) civil commitment registration down at city hall. Also, that new candle shop on Main street is pretty suspect.

Clearly, Eureka Springs is the new Sodom! (Or, as the American Family Association website describes it: "The San Francisco of Arkansas.") Unfortunately for us, this hard-hitting AFA-sponsored documentary tells the story "the liberal media will never tell" and exposes how us homosexual agenda pushers managed to overrun this quaint little Arkansas town — so we can't duplicate that success anywhere else in America's God-fearing heartland.

Curses! Those pesky AFA folks foil us at every turn!

For a suggested donation of only $14.95  (or $49.99 if you donate suggestively for a 5-pack!) Christian citizens can get their hands on what amounts to our sinister gay agenda playbook! The AFA suggests its members watch it at home and then share it with their local church and Sunday school class!

Check out the promotional trailer for the documentary after the break.

Major developments today on As the World Turns. Noah finds a sloppy drunk Luke lurking about town and takes him back to the farm to keep him out of trouble. In between his inebriated lurchings, Luke is all "Stay with me Noah!" and "You can't walk out on me!"  Noah swipes Luke's keys and beats a hasty retreat.

Meanwhile, Brian Wheatley and Lucinda arrange a hasty wedding at her hospital bedside, with Lily and Holden witnessing the blessed event.

Right after the ceremony, Wheatley heads home to grab some various and sundries for his blushing (though still hospitalized) bride. Along the way, he sees a stumbling Luke by the side of the road. He picks his new step-grandson up and takes him back to the farm to sober him up. Then, in what has to be one of the most oddly interesting moments on ATWT in recent memory — he kisses him!

This is one episode you don't want to miss — check out the Nuke video after the break!

In yesterday's gin-soaked episode of As the World Turns, Lucinda went in for her mastectomy, and when Luke has an awkward run-in with Noah at the hospital he uses the it as an excuse to go on yet another bender. When Allison and Casey find him at a bar and try to stop him from drinking, he lashes out, calling Casey a "screw up" and Allison a "porn queen!"

Ouch.  Just how low is the boy going to sink, and are you like me and sort of digging this edgier "Mr Hyde"-ish side of Luke? 

Check out yesterday's Nuke clips after-the break. And hey, maybe we can make a drinking game out of it. Raise your glass every time Luke says something catty.

Today on As the World Turns, Holden & Lily a have a sit down with Luke and try to get him to accept some personal responsibility for his recent ill-behavior.

Luke heads to see Noah to apologize and patch things up, but Noah isn't quite ready to play nice. Despondent, Luke grabs a draft beer from a passing frat boy. Uh oh, this looks like trouble!

Check out all the melodrama in today's Nuke video clips after the break.

On yesterday's As the World Turns, Noah's high-minded decision to rat out Luke to the Oakdale University dean had some major repercussions. Not the least of which, both Casey and Luke are permanently expelled.

Casey confronts Noah about his decision to be a tattletale and reminds him that Luke was perfectly happy to lie for him during that entire sham marriage to Ameera.  (Glad someone on the show pointed that out.)

Luke has to tell Momma Lily about the ballot stuffing, and his expulsion from school. She is devasted.

When Noah shows his face, the boys have it out in an ugly confrontation. Will they be able to patch things up?  

Find out more in the latest Nuke video clips after the break, and be sure to join us at 2PM EST today for our liveblog of what happens next!

Today on As the World Turns, Luke and Casey's conspiracy to commit voter fraud goes off the rails when Kevin goes to the college dean and demands a recount.  Luke gets summoned to the dean's office, but the dean offers to put the matter to rest if Luke and Noah will only give him their word of honor that the election was on the up and up.

Luke doubles down on his fall from grace and assures the dean he ran an honorable campaign, but it's anyone's guess what Noah will do when he gets called to the carpet. Will he rat Luke out? Will Luke come clean himself?

See how it all plays out in today's Nuke video clip after the break!