IT'S A GAY HOLIDAY MOVIE! WELL, A HOLIDAY MOVIE WITH A GAY CHARACTER! OKAY, A MINOR GAY CHARACTER. WHAT YOU WERE EXPECTING? BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN: HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS? AT LEAST IT HAS MARIO LOPEZ SHIRTLESS!
Last month we were contemplating doing an article on how gay stories are handled in those holiday movies that blizzard the box office and the Hallmark Channel every December. But other than the Jodie Foster directed Home for the Holidays with Robert Downey Jr. and the unwatchable The Family Stone, we could think of few other holiday-themed movies with a 'mo 'mo 'mo storyline. (Okay, I admit that was bad.)

So imagine my surprise Tuesday night when I tuned into the ABC Family flick Holiday in Handcuffs and not only got to see Mario in said handcuffs (and shirtless: cue swooning), but discovered the flim had a small gay storyline.

First, Mario shirtless. Hey, I know my audience!

The "plot" of Handcuffs is that some former teen star — Melissa Alicia Alyssa Joan Silverstone Doherty Hart — whom I vaguely recognize, but have no clue what she's semi-famous for, plays a wacky woman named Trudie who can't hold onto a man. Yawn.

Anywho, she kidnaps Mario (still wearing a shirt at that point) and forces him to accompany him to her family's isolated, but luxurious cabin in the mountains. Why? To get him shirtless? No. So he can pretend to be her boyfriend for Christmas thereby proving to her family she isn't a big loser. Gosh, I wonder how that story is going to work out. Well, as long as they get him shirtless who cares, right?

Fortunately, Trudie also has a very adorable brother named Jake (Kyle Howard, below) who has a bit of a secret. Gee, can you guess it?

No, his secret isn't that he reads boring old media. He's gay, of course! He confesses to Trudie that six months ago he broke up with his girlfriend and has since been dating a hunk named Ryan (Travis Milne) and wants to tell everyone over Christmas dinner. Just thing the to help the holiday ham digest.

Before he can spill the pink beans, Trudie's dad tells Mario (still wearing his shirt) that they'd wondered if she might not be "into innies rather than outies" if you get his Sapphic-drift. Turns out it was his son they should've been wondering about.

The movie has a bit of a dark edge to it. Just before Jake drops the big gay bomb at dinner, his dad says about L.A. "it's the land of fruits and nuts." Not exactly the sweet holiday filling one might expect in a flick like this.

I really don't want to overstate the gay thing (or the dark edge thing either; it ain't that dark) as it is very small. But as we just documented in our year end look at television, gay visibility on the networks is on the downswing and the only real standout is ABC with ABC Family doing pretty great on cable, so they deserve some credit for being gay inclusive.

And for getting Mario out of his shirt.