Have a question about gay male entertainment? Ask the Monkey!

Q: Buffy or Xena? – Morton, Santa Barbara, CA

A: Nooooooo! You can’t make the Flying Monkey choose! It’s the gay Sophie’s Choice!

The monkey admits that Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the better, more consistent show, but truthfully? He was more broken up when Xena: Warrior Princess went off the air (though admittedly this was probably because Buffy’s last season and series finale was dreadful — the absolute nadir of the series — while Xena’s last season wasn't bad, and its finale was sublime and daring).

How’s that for evading the question?

Q: Since we know Grant Show played gay on Dirt and will now go bi on Swingtown, is it possible that Miriam Shor who played transgendered Yitzak, in Hedwig and the Angry Inch, will go dominatrix on Swingtown? – InsideGuy, Los Angeles

Swingtown's Grant Show (left) & Miriam Shor

A: Saying that Grant Show is going bi on Swingtown, the new CBS show about suburban swingers in the 1970s, is way overstating things. "During the group [sex] activities there will obviously be an acknowledgement of the fact that there are members of the same sex involved," Mike Kelley, the series creator, tells AfterElton.com. But he also points out that a single gay experience won't necessarily make a character gay.

Could Kelley be any cagier?

But this is actually fine with the Monkey. One of the Monkey’s big beefs is that movie and TV producers always show same-sex sexual behavior or bisexuality whenever they need to indicate hedonism or a group of people just being totally decadent. That’s why vampire covens are always loaded with preening lesbians and bisexuals. The stalwart settlers on Little House on the Prairie? Not so much.

But, of course, bisexuality and hedonism are totally different things. Sure, a bisexual person can be decadent, but so can a heterosexual person. It’s an absolute stereotype that bisexuals are somehow looser of morals than straight people, more inclined to attend orgies, and the Monkey really wishes Hollywood would stop reinforcing this prejudice.

As for Swingtown, no word on Miriam Shor (whose wet-blanket Swingtown character is a far cry from her turn on Hedwig), but there is some subtext between two male teens, where one has a crush on another. But don’t look for this to go anywhere until Season 2 (if there is one).

Q: I'm not entirely sure this is a pop culture question, but do you know of any health/nutrition/exercise magazines worth attention? I'm a big fan of Men's Health but I'm sick of them never mentioning anything gay, not to mention the ever present alpha male mentality. It's like they are in world where homosexuals don't exist. - Tyler, West Chester, PA

A: This reminds the Monkey of his favorite TV show when he was a kid — Fame, the TV version of the 1980 Alan Parker film. But only on television could a school for the arts set in New York City not have any gay students (The film had one gay student, Montgomery — played by Paul McCrane — but the character was made oh-so-heterosexual for the series).

Likewise, for Men’s Health. They must know that a good portion of their readership is gay; it’s not straight men they’re attracting with those covers of buff men covered in a sheen of sweat! So why not acknowledge us? Fear of a backlash among their one or two straight readers? What they really should be worrying about is a backlash from their gay readers tired of being taken for granted.

There are definitely alternatives. True, a couple of high profile gay men’s print health magazines have crashed and burned in recent years, but things are flourishing online. Try RealJock.com.

Next Page! Why is Dante's Cove unwatchable? And NBC versus Telemundo!